never knew that again, i encountered unconditional love from a mortal. after all these years, i've lived with the impressions that my mom expected the best and nothing but the perfect life for me. and until now, i haven't been moved from where i stand. i'm not perfect. and even though she thinks that i can be so, i'm not. i screwed up, and afraid to say it to her out loud. so all i know now, is that the mistake is there, and there's no other way to make it right.

i have to live with this mind set until the day it all ends and i'm attached to someone else. but until then, it's all mind to keep and embrace as a burden. today, i finally let it go to someone else. i share what i've felt for years now. to someone who i once thought as he who would never understand, he who would probably leave me for it. i was wrong. he actually accepted me the way i never think it possible. he's willing to try and have faith that if there's a will, there will come a way.

kisses aren't kisses after all, and hugs aren't just hugs after all. everything shares its purpose, and to be the one who accepted it, it's a trully blessing.

'whatever happens, i am blessed.'

IT REALLY HAS A BEAUTY AFTER ALL!

bonnie blooms! thanks to mr. hagi!! he took care of my cactuses very well indeed! sometimes i wonder, how come a spikey plant like cactus, that has a dessert and dry ground as their habitat, can produce a beautiful flower like that?! such a wonder!

along this past week, i feel blessed in every part of my life. on my work, my study, my relationship with friends, family and also ari. it's true what they said: when you feel blessed, you just can't contain it. it gets too much, you just got to give it away.

*andini slept at Bedroom, Kemang.

klo ngantuk, pastinya tidur.
laper, biar gak usah repot cari makan, tidur.
sakit kepala, tidur.
capek, tidur.
sakit punggung, tidur2an.
pusing mikirin masalah, tidur.
mikir, tidur.
kangen................ tidur!!!!!!!!!

tidur mungkin tidak menyelesaikan masalah, tapi it works wonderfully on me. otak jadi segar, dan vitalitas kembali normal!
yeah!!!

working on a deadline, with rick price's song, only heaven knows playing out of yadien's comp. frustrating!!! not to mention he keep on repeating the lyrics, boyz 2 men style... arrgghhh hahahahahaha.. this is nuts! i interviewed 3 girls in one day! what a race to deadline!!

cant wait till tomorrow, stepping my feet to jakarta. but umm, just remembered, i haven't picked up my ticket yet! argh! that means i have to wake up earlier again today, go get my ticket, and the rest of the time? walking down alone, try to get something to take it home. little window shopping maybe!
:D

he left for jakarta today, approximately in another hour. and i'm feeling lonesome already. he came by this morning, we talked for only 15 minutes, then he left. argghhh this is so hard to handle.

i've been willing to write here, since one of those early days i stepped my feet in bali. but since ari came and i'm having such wonderful days, i feel my heart too full of happiness to write. i'm having such a blast! i passed that test, ari came, we're going out together. life has been great! but then, things happened. small things though. like, i was told by ari, that the day i got very drunk at scoop, he looked at me in despise. then when i told him that i want to buy a bikini, he went... apa yah... nyindir sedikit aja. i was surprised. i didnt realize any of these before.

he's going back to jakarta tomorrow, and i'm feeling awfully sad. not very good at being left behind. absolutely not good.

congratulations indira! you prove yourself worthy to enroll in FISIP UI's extention program. oh yeah.. i'm absolutely thrilled about it. but kinda worried about how to manage my time to go to school and work, especially when i'm now in bali. i dont even have time to make kebaya for graduation day on september 1st.

finally, i'm in bali. having my mom and abby drove me to the airport and saw them wave goodbye, really made me sad. especially leaving my tutu. ditambah lagi si bella mau nginep ato minta ari nginep di rumahnya. pffttt ... i never thought i'm gonna be with a guy who made me go... hmmm deg2an leaving him at home. he has this ever freely life where anyone can sleep over at his house. doesn't matter it's a his girl or just a normal girl friends. but i trust him, just like he does to me.

huhu missing my home a lot! my bed, my pillow, the freedom to sleep any time i want. the guys work very... very flexible here. they usually started at 11am till 3pm.. yups! udah kayak pegawai negeri aja!